1) The most used word in your vocabulary is 'Sorry' - So I've walked round the corner into an aisle and someone rams their trolley into me and what do I say? Sorry! Obviously I should see into the future and know you'll be coming round the corner full pelt with your trolley. It's definitely my fault when the store doesn't stock the most peculiar items, for example alpaca food (yes, this has been asked for before). It's just something the blurts out after every sentence in a supermarket!
2) Every complaint is your fault - Yes, it's your fault that the petrol station is closed for maintenance and the next closest petrol station is 2 minutes away. Yup, it's your fault that the customers wife bought the wrong gift card so needs a refund. It's even your fault that they thought the value ready meal they bought was really salty because you made it yourself. Everything is your fault.
3) Your day will revolve around taking cardboard off shelves. That is what the supermarket is about. No matter if you haven't had a break for six hours or you have got a gazillion other things to do, the only important thing is taking cardboard off of the shelf. You will spend at least four hours a day doing this, paper cuts on paper cuts. If you value your hands, this will not be good for you.
4) Your senior manager will always overturn your decision - so where I have worked up the ladder so to say in retail, from a general assistant to a manager I have always live by the value that you stick up for your colleagues. I have always done this. So I had a colleague at the customer service desk that had a customer kicking off for a reason that went against our policy. I get called down and stick with my colleague over the customer. Yes the customer may always be right but if they are effing and blinding at my colleague they are definitely not getting anything. So they asked to see my manager and they come along all smiles and give the customer everything and more that they want. This is not how it should be, gives the colleague such a negative feeling and it makes me an angry little bear!
5) You pretty much pay your wages back to the shop - Oh thanks for paying me, let me just give it all back to you - fact! I'll end up going round the clothing department picking out what I'll be giving my money back in for. Or it'll go straight into the coffee shop next door where you go for your stress relief times.
6) People know you, everywhere - I'd go out for a night out and go to the bar and someone would stare at me and be like 'Where do I know you from?!' Facepalm every time, unless I get a free drink from it for giving excellent customer service. But yes, very strange, you are a supermarket celebrity.
7) Now this one might just be me but whenever you go visit other supermarkets you will judge them. Look how much cardboard are on the shelves! Look at all those queues!! Scrutiny. I am the Regina George of supermarkets.
8) You will make conversation about anything and everything, and you will love everything they buy - My cats love that cat food, or that cake looks so yummy! The awkward checkout conversation, next time you are going through a checkout listen to the conversation that they are having as you will hear such forced conversation about everything, the weather, toilet roll, other customers, everything!
9) You will get roped into dressing up when they have events. Pirates, skeletons, Christmas, animals, and here's a treat for you, when I got attacked with blue paint for smurf day. I shall insert a snap. Obviously it's all for a good cause and the money raised goes to charity but you end up walking round the shop for nine odd hours looking like an idiot!
There are so many things you will notice when you are in a supermarket as a colleague or as a customer and I wouldn't be surprised if some of you read this and think 'oh my god that's too true!', or at least I hope so!